A purpose

The four people who read this blog out of an unnecessary but appreciated sense of obligation may have noticed it languishing in its {I'm sorry, I must interrupt to point out that Blogger, the website I'm writing this post on, or in, or whatever, has a spellchecker, and it has underlined 'blog'. In the course of writing this aside, it has also marked 'blogger' and 'spellchecker'. This is why I hate spell-checkers. There, I hyphenated. Happy, fucker?} infancy. I realize now that this is because it lacks a theme, a drive, a raison d'etre, if you will. This struck me as I read the headline of this story, Turkey to Block "Insulting" Websites. And in a flash, I knew my purpose: to be banned by Turkey. So here goes.
Turkey stole all your change for a laundry run.
The Hagia Sophia is a poor man's Angkor Wat.
Turkey only wants to join the EU so they can fuck Belgium's sister.
Turkey's prog-rock album was derivative and soulless.
I was in Europe once, and there was this bad smell, and I was like Dude, what smells? And some guy was like, Oh, that's Turkey.
Turkish Delight is to candy as poop is to candy.

Oh, I just read some of that article and it turns out they're specifically looking for assaults on "Turkishness" and Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. So, um, did you know Ataturk's name anagrams to 'Big douchebag'? Actually, it doesn't. It doesn't seem to anagram to anything that doesn't involve an auk, because Ataturk was a big douchebag with too many 'a's and 'u's in his name.
Your move, bitches.

Feeding the beast

I gots to start posting again, so here we go, even if it's the most popular thing on yootoob right now:

Who knew those lyrics had so much, or any, meaning?
Please to forgive my lame post. Illness is my excuse.

Things that are actually real things, Part I

This is really a real thing. You can buy this and they'll send it to you, and then you'd actually have one, because it really exists.

It's Official

For those of you keeping track, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog" is my new favorite threat ever. How awesome is Natasha Lyonne? The answer is highly awesome.

This makes complete sense. (Click for legible picture)







Update:

Duschwagen

Anyone else noticed that Nissan is marketing the Maxima to lonely pathetic losers?
Here's the copy from their ad:

Intelligent key technology that knows you
Seats that hug you
A ride that spoils you

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh, though. I guess people with no one who knows, hugs or spoils them need cars too.

I've learnt a couple things about myself this week. Or at least, recognized things that had always been apparent.
One, I enjoy walking across bridges.
Two, I enjoy watching waterfowl eat.
The last two mornings have combined these two activities, and thus have been red-letter days indeed.
If this were a decent blog, I'd have pictures, but it's not, so I don't.
If you live in Portland, though, and want to see geese eat a pile of grain on some railroad tracks while walking on a bridge, I suggest the NE side of the Broadway Bridge.