First off, this is the best invention since Katie's thesis topic. Go buy some, burn yourself, and use it. You won't regret it.*
Second, what would you do with no morals and someone else's credit card? Your answer can't possibly be as good as this woman's. Unless your answer is, "Let's go crazy, Broadway-style!"
*˙ʇı ʇǝɹƃǝɹ ʇɥƃıɯ noʎ
That's right, plumbing industry, I'm calling you out. Today I took the p-trap apart to fish out part of the sink stopper mechanism after someone who shall remain unnamed disassembled it for reasons forgotten. So I go buy some channel-lock pliers (thanks, Winks guy, for suggesting a sensible alternative to the massive pipe wrench I had my eye on!) and turn one of the nuts a bit, and the whole pipe pulls out of the wall, very easily. Turns out I didn't need the pliers, or any tools, because the pipes don't have flanges on the end, so the nuts just turn to constrict washers to grip said pipes. At either end! At the wall, and where it meets the downpipe from the sink, it's held in place with rubber friction. And I swear, the pipe going into the wall actually goes in, like, 1/32nd of an inch.This is seriously how it's supposed to be? Answer, according to Syd's plumber uncle whom I called: yes. This is lazy and dumb. It's the 21st century, people. We should have drainpipes that can't just be pulled out of the wall, and we shouldn't need a shoehorn to get a shoe onto our foot. (I guess that's another rant, but I don't really feel like going through the whole thing, so y'know, blah blah space-age fabrics, fasteners, miracle of elastic, should be able to put on shoe without use of contraption, you get the idea.)
OK, so the New Yorker has this caption contest thing they've been doing for a year or two now, where they supply a cartoon with no caption, and readers submit their own ideas, and the handful that aren't "My wife is a slut" are voted on by us, the readers.
Here is this week's offering; Syd's caption for it, which we submitted, is
"I wish my insurance would cover a hospital not staffed by the insane."
I thought this was really funny, and then couldn't stop laughing 'cause I was trying to eat a hotdog, and every time I tried to get serious so I could eat I started laughing again, and eventually I laughed while swallowing and launched ketchup, mustard, and hot sauce up the back of my nose, and it really was most unpleasant. Then Syd showed it to her mom, who was unamused. So what do you think, dear friends? About her caption, that is, not about eating a hotdog with ketchup, mustard and hot sauce on it; I know, now, that that was wrong.