Doctoral candidates looking for an institute of higher learning, look no further! Behold the pop-up that was revealed to me in a moment of not-Firefox-using:


Because nothing says prestigious school like the offspring of a giraffe and Jar Jar Binks. Doctoral! Doctoral? Doctoral. I actually clicked the ad, just for you, dear reader (Hi Syd!) and it listed a bunch of degree mills, University of Phoenix and its ilk. So next time someone says they went to U of Phoenix, just conjure up that mental image of Dr. Bongrip Girafferton.

It's...sexy?

OK, so how has two people in two neighboring old bathtubs become the official logo of dick-pill manufacturer Cialis? Is that supposed to have anything to do with doin' it? S. and I were baffled when they first aired those ads: How'd they get those tubs there? How long did it take them to fill them with water that cannot possibly be not cold? It's more reminiscent to me of those human farms in The Matrix than anything else, and that is very unsexy.
Doesn't a hot tub make more sense for their veiled allusions? Shouldn't I argue this in SAT question format?
A hot tub is to two old adjacent bathtubs as
a) a bed is to your grandparents' two twin beds.
b) one of those panel vans with the little any-given-Lucky Charms-marshmallow-shaped window is to the Adam West Batmobile.
c) salmon spawning are to your old pet fish and the new fish still acclimating in its plastic bag.










˙ƃuıʇsǝɹǝʇuı ʇɐɥʇ ɹɐǝu ǝɹǝɥʍʎuɐ ƃuıɥʇʎuɐ op ɹǝʌǝu llıʍ ɥsıɟ ɯnıɹɐnbɐ ɹnoʎ puɐ 'suɐʌ lǝuɐd ǝsoɥʇ ǝsn sʇsıdɐɹ ʎdǝǝɹɔ ʎluo ˙ɐ sı ɹǝʍsuɐ ʇɔǝɹɹoɔ ǝɥʇ

Not again

It's time for another biking post! The Biking Commute Challenge Thingy is almost over, and I've biked 15 out of a potential 19 days of work thusfar. (I felt something pull or tear or tweak just above my right knee starting out in too high a gear right at the beginning of the month, so I took a little break, until I realized that it actually hurt more to work the gas pedal.) There are a few people with 100%, but I think I'll take the total mileage crown, which I am hoping involves an actual crown, but which probably consists of nothing. I got some raingear, but so far I've only needed the gloves, as it's been surprisingly dry, if foggy and windy. That reminds me:

Pete's List of Bicycling Things What Suck (Amended 9/27/08):
Hills
Headwinds

So here are yesterday's numbers:
Total Miles: 534
Total Peddlin' Time: 42 hrs. 50 min.
Trip Dist.: 18.58 miles
Trip Time: 1 hr. 25
Avg. Speed: 13.15
Top Speed: 31.94

Yep, 32 mph coming down the 33rd ramp over Columbia. I'll have to try again on Monday, though, 'cause I swear I hit the exact same speed at the same place on Thursday.

The End

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Sigh

So I thought I had a nice little idea for a retarded post about Sarah Palin, and her being the first ever VPILF. Turns out not only am I too late, there's a goddamn website: vpilf.com. There's even a post about the foresight in setting that site up two months ago.
Aha! No google hits for LOLVPILF. My niche!


Comedy gold.

PS Yeah I know, I can't figure out how to do a black outline.

::UPDATE::
Here's Syd's submission, and she's right, it should just be LOLVP:
















And here's mine:

We're puerile

Highlight of the 'lympics thusfar: the opening ceremony, beating France's ass in the relay, or the fact that Bulgaria has a male volleyball player called Gaydarski? It's a tough call...

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My feet, annotated

I swear we just vacuumed.

Footwear

So my shoes were shot to hell and I actually had some spare cash, and I was tired of playing basketball with my students in running shoes, so we willingly engaged in shoe shopping. I’m pretty finicky about every possible aspect of shoe purchasing, which makes for frustrating times. I eventually settled on some Adidas that didn’t look totally retarded, which I find to be an issue with 95% of shoes, but the weird thing was that the whole time I was worried about the opinions of my class. I’ve always been surprised by the lengths they go to to keep their “kicks”* nice; getting a couple sizes too big and stuffing socks in the toe; avoiding grass; meticulously scrubbing... I should be glad that they take care of nice things, given their often dire financial situations, but it’s so unexpectedly prissy. So along with my concerns of retarded shoes and shoes that didn’t feel right, there was a little voice saying “get some Jordans, or some Forces.” The trouble, of course, was that I had no damn clue which were tight and which were swap. So it was not without some small measure of apprehension that I wore my new shoes to school today, and as should come as no surprise, nobody commented on them at all.

*Slang for shoes.

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