A purpose

The four people who read this blog out of an unnecessary but appreciated sense of obligation may have noticed it languishing in its {I'm sorry, I must interrupt to point out that Blogger, the website I'm writing this post on, or in, or whatever, has a spellchecker, and it has underlined 'blog'. In the course of writing this aside, it has also marked 'blogger' and 'spellchecker'. This is why I hate spell-checkers. There, I hyphenated. Happy, fucker?} infancy. I realize now that this is because it lacks a theme, a drive, a raison d'etre, if you will. This struck me as I read the headline of this story, Turkey to Block "Insulting" Websites. And in a flash, I knew my purpose: to be banned by Turkey. So here goes.
Turkey stole all your change for a laundry run.
The Hagia Sophia is a poor man's Angkor Wat.
Turkey only wants to join the EU so they can fuck Belgium's sister.
Turkey's prog-rock album was derivative and soulless.
I was in Europe once, and there was this bad smell, and I was like Dude, what smells? And some guy was like, Oh, that's Turkey.
Turkish Delight is to candy as poop is to candy.

Oh, I just read some of that article and it turns out they're specifically looking for assaults on "Turkishness" and Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. So, um, did you know Ataturk's name anagrams to 'Big douchebag'? Actually, it doesn't. It doesn't seem to anagram to anything that doesn't involve an auk, because Ataturk was a big douchebag with too many 'a's and 'u's in his name.
Your move, bitches.