Dear NFL on FOX,
I can't stand watching games on your network. The break-dancing robot is bad enough, but I'm not going to be able to watch any NFL games on Fox until you get rid of that goddamn stupid Transformers sound effect before every snap. I don't need an audio cue to remind me that the down-and-yards text is going away. I don't give a shit what that graphic is doing; I'm trying to watch a game. Playing make-believe with you guys that the game is inside some magical robospaceship does not enhance my viewer experience.
Also, I know you're a different channel and department and all, but Bill O'Reilly is a total douche.
There's my two cents,
Have a good year
Rip
8.28.2006
5.09.2006
Go Ferries!
The following teams are apparently gay -- or at least, gayer than custom teddy bears dressed like whores.
5.08.2006
Mastication
Today I remembered that as a kid I used the acronym ABC, Already Been Chewed. What I can't remember is how that phrase was used so frequently as to necessitate abbreviation.
Also, I signed up for those google ads that are based on what you type. With a readership of roughly two, I don't anticipate teh phat lewtz, as the kids say; mostly it's just to see what crazy crap shows up. The ad content tail may well soon wag the blog post dog.
Also, I signed up for those google ads that are based on what you type. With a readership of roughly two, I don't anticipate teh phat lewtz, as the kids say; mostly it's just to see what crazy crap shows up. The ad content tail may well soon wag the blog post dog.
4.27.2006
An Open Letter
Dear Old Man I flipped off yesterday,
sorry about that. You see, I was only half paying attention, as I had a red light, and all I saw was a black kid crossing the street, and an old white guy scowling and shaking his head at being unable to make his left turn, so when you made eye contact to commiserate, I thought you were a racist old coot, and I flipped you the bird. Then I noticed that the don't walk sign was lit up. To your credit, you handled my salty rejoinder with grace and, no doubt, a certain melancholy resignation as to the state of The Youth these days. I am aware that there is basically no chance you will read this, but perhaps someone reading this has a grandpa in Silver Spring, MD, and they will call you and hear about the day you had, with punk-ass kids ruining your afternoon drive, and they will relay my message to you. Again, I apologize for making a rude gesture when you had every right to be cranky about a jaywalker.
Sincerely,
Rip Tatermen
sorry about that. You see, I was only half paying attention, as I had a red light, and all I saw was a black kid crossing the street, and an old white guy scowling and shaking his head at being unable to make his left turn, so when you made eye contact to commiserate, I thought you were a racist old coot, and I flipped you the bird. Then I noticed that the don't walk sign was lit up. To your credit, you handled my salty rejoinder with grace and, no doubt, a certain melancholy resignation as to the state of The Youth these days. I am aware that there is basically no chance you will read this, but perhaps someone reading this has a grandpa in Silver Spring, MD, and they will call you and hear about the day you had, with punk-ass kids ruining your afternoon drive, and they will relay my message to you. Again, I apologize for making a rude gesture when you had every right to be cranky about a jaywalker.
Sincerely,
Rip Tatermen
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