Of the Oregon game! That took place last night! For some reason it wasn't broadcast until midnight, so I dvr'd it, managed to avoid hearing the outcome, and am watching it Sunday morning. It's 21-10, 13 minutes to go in the 2nd, and the color commentary guy might just be bad enough at his job to make this worthwhile.
Second Quarter
13:15 "We'll see right here if Oregon bounces back, they've got a little adversity coming in their face." Now that's a sports metaphor!
9:57 "Yes it was catchable; when that ball hits the receiver's hands, like i say over and over again you have to catch that football. Missed opportunity, you have to make those plays, and it's all about making plays, and that's what this Cardinal team has to do against this Oregon football team is make plays."
All the hallmarks of a c-team commentator: thinks he came up with the most common cliches, says adversity every third word, repeatedly says "football game," repeatedly says everything else.
7:33 Am I ripping on this guy to distract from the score going from 21-3 to 21-17? Yes. (In a parallel universe, Sydney has gotten out of bed before noon, and is doing the world's first metaliveblog, and is making fun of my Donald Rumsfeld-style rhetorical question.)
6:52 Due to penalties, Stanford is now kicking off for the fourth time--wait, no, as they were about to kick it, they called a time out. I don't remember when I last saw actual play.
5:30 "Well it's amazing to watch Kimble's feet, the quick feet, the feet were moving just like car pistons in a car, and watch here the quick feet lift the legs, driving driving driving." It's close to poetry.
4:09 Some Stanford dude with a luxurious blond mullet just put them ahead 24-21. Anthony the color commentator proclaimed, as he has with every Stanford score, that it's a ballgame now.
:48 21-31. Not even making fun of an idiot can ease the pain. Ooh, Stewart ran the kick back about 70 yards!
:14 The Ducks continue to not score. Syd spilled some cereal on the floor, and the cat just ate it. Honey Bunches of Oats. Three flakes, one bunch.
Third Quarter
11:17 They just came back from commercial with the ball in midair. Touchdown to Dickson! I'll assume Dixon threw it! 31-31.
10:28 Here's the trivia question: In a single season, what is the greatest number of true freshmen played by Coach Bellotti? That has to be the shittiest trivia question ever. Predictions for next week's question: What did Jonathan Stewart eat for breakfast? What are Jaison Williams' secret hopes and dreams? What is the greatest number of players who were molested by their priest and never told anybody who were played by Coach Bellotti in a single season?
9:08 Anthony just said Stewart has "thunder thighs."
7:20 Trivia answer: Nine, this year. Thank Science for the closure. Oh, and the Ducks got a TD. 38-31. Huh, nine. Wow!
6:48 Just so you know, Tony Ton Ton says something really stupid every time he opens his mouth, but this post is already longer than the entirety of my blog, so I'm being judicious.
6:13 This year people have been losing helmets like crazy. I assume they've been redesigned to break away more easily for safety reasons, but it seems to me like sooner or later someone'll lose their hat and then get hit in the head and die.
5:37 Dickson is monstrous. Sounds of the game usually sounds like some pads hitting each other. The cameraman is easily fooled. Oregon is up 45-31. Play-by-play man is not a mathlete.
Fourth Quarter
13:48 "Balls out...balls out." Syd noticed this last week, that when they say "ball's out" it sounds like 'balls out.' It is amusing to me.
8:03 Chung just made a great interception. Anthony: "Big time players make big time plays." Holy fawk, he could so easily be replaced by a robot with a thing for big thighs.
4:25 Stanford fails on 4th down, Oregon takes over, and now Kevin Trudeau's: The Weight-Loss Cure "They" Don't Want You To Know About takes over, with 2:09 remaining on his infomercial clock. The one fucking time I remember to set the DVR to tape an extra hour to catch the end of the game, and the broadcast cuts off. Oh well; I assume we won. Go Ducks! I am cautiously trepidatious about Cal next week!
2 comments:
Point of Clarification: I do not sleep until noon. You wake me up at quarter of ten every weekend. So Rip, go suck an egg.
- "Looks like those clowns in Congress are at it again. What a bunch of clowns."
- "How does he keep up on the news like that?"
- "Don't praise the machine!"
What would we do without such incessant jabber in the background of our sporting events?
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